Answers from Franklin Dadberg, Vol. 1

Are you in a rush? Are you in public? Are your other kids around? Is the tantrum based on pure exhaustion?

File Under: Advice

Franklin Dadberg is a father of children… how many? We’re not exactly sure, and we don’t ask. What we do know for sure is that we can all learn from his profound and thoughtful insights. Here now is the first of many volumes of great advice from Franklin Dadberg.

How do I get my kid in the car when he’s having a tantrum?

This is a tricky one as so much of it depends on the situation. Are you in a rush? Are you in public? Are your other kids around? Is the tantrum based on pure exhaustion? So I can’t give total advice… but lifting up and shoving them in the car (lovingly) is acceptable in some instances.

What is the shittiest kids tv show that I should never allow my kid to watch?

Well…  Barney. But I don’t think kids watch that purple turd of a show anymore. So, Dora is the worst. Yeah, yeah – multiculturalism is important — but Dora is a dumpster fire of an experience.

We eat a lot of American cheese in my house. Is that ok?

Not okay. Not even sure it’s cheese. Cheddar is acceptable for quesadillas, grilled cheese etc… String Cheese acceptable for snacks. Don’t sleep on manchego.

How long is too long for my six-year-old daughter to be on the toilet? Right now we’re averaging twelve minutes per dump.

Once the kid can wipe his/her own ass — as long as they wish.

Franklin Dadberg

Franklin Dadberg

Franklin Dadberg is a father of children… how many? We’re not exactly sure. What we do know for sure is that we can all learn from his profound and thoughtful insights and wisdom.